Love Languages

How do you know that your partner loves you?

Do you feel loved by your partner?

Do you tell your partner you love them, but they don't seem to acknowledge it?

When it comes down to expressing and receiving love, it can be almost as though people speak different languages. You might keep telling your partner that you love them, but for them what makes them feel really loved is being held.

Or maybe you are always giving gifts to your partner as a show of love, but actually what they really need is to be told that you love them.

As we grow and develop, we experience different ways of being shown that the people we care about love us. Maybe when you were a child, your parents used to hug you to express their love, or maybe they would tell you. However, if you grew up in a family that never hugged, you might find physical expression of affection is really awkward for you. As a result, if you are with a partner who feels loved through physical expression, you may find it really difficult to understand why your partner doesn't seem to feel loved, despite the fact you think you constantly express your love through gift giving.

And if you don't learn your partner's love language, you may find that your relationship begins to drift apart.

The idea of Love Languages was developed by Gary Chapman, Ph.D. So let's explore them:

Words of affirmation - some people need to have verbal (either written or spoken) acknowledgements of love, appreciation and caring to know that they are loved by their partner.

You could send an unexpected card or message expressing your feelings. Or frequently acknowledge your partner verbally. Whatever you do, if this is your partner's love language, make sure you use frequent verbal means of expressing affection.

Acts of service - here people feel loved through the actions of their partner. Going out of your way to show love and caring for your partner will help them feel loved.

Take on more daily chores, and go out of your way to do things to express your love an appreciation.

Physical touch - if your preferred love language lies here, then physical expression of affection is crucial. Being hugged, holding hands, kissing and sex are all examples of this language.

Body language is the language and you need to make sure you take time for physical intimacy.

Quality time - with this language it is all about taking time to be with your partner. And by being that means focused time without distraction. So put away your phone, turn off the TV and learn to actively listen and focus on being with your partner.

Even short moments during the week count if your are busy, but make sure you take time. And remember how much those weekend breaks mean to them.

Receiving gifts - this language is all about the experience of receiving. And don't think it s about monetary value. It is more about the thought that goes behind the gift. Your don't need to be rich, you could create your own card or use your craft skills to make a personal present.

Small things matter and so does making sure you express your gratitude when receiving a gift.

So make sure you take time to learn your partner's love language. This could be an important step in helping to maintain and develop intimacy with your partner.

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